Задание №39306 ЕГЭ по Английскому языку

Confessions of a cat-sitter

Recently searching the internet for everything related to cats, as I often do, I found an old news story under the huge banner headline: “Zombie cat returns from the grave.” As a cat-sitter with an overactive imagination, this was not the type of headline I wanted to be reading. Also, although having suffered a long history of bites and scratches from the paws of our fluffy friends, I hadn’t yet contemplated the possibility of one of them trying to eat my brain. This was bad news indeed.

However, it seems that the cat in question, a Florida-based black and white named Bart, probably wasn’t dead when he turned up on his owner’s doorstep and meowed to be let in. That’s not the sort of thing dead things do. The only complication here was that Bart had argued with a passing car three days previously, appeared to have passed away, and accordingly had been buried in local woods by his tearful owner. Rather than a zombie turning up on the doorstep, then, it must have been a very annoyed cat indeed. Bad enough to get knocked out by a car, but then to have your well-meaning owner bury you… that’s really annoying.

A US animal expert has theorized that Bart probably regained consciousness underground, dug his way back to the surface, and then made his way home. Considering he’d been buried and then arrived home covered in mud, I can’t really see why an expert was needed to explain this, but he did, and so it’s official. The article didn’t comment on the current state of relations between Bart and his owner, but I know very well what happens when you disrespect a cat, and burying one would be right up there on the disrespectful behaviour list. I hope the owner has a good supply of band-aids.

Finishing the article and shaking my head in wonder, I noticed another headline listed under ‘Related Stories’: “Police arrest family cat after two hour blockade.” Another misleading headline, surely? But no.

Apparently, after receiving a minor scratch from his cat Lux, a Mr. Palmer of Portland, Oregon, gave him a light “educative slap.” As in the story above, the cat would no doubt have seen this as something disrespectful, and a fight broke out. According to Mr. Palmer, the cat then flew into a “terrible rage.” Mr. Palmer, his partner, their baby, and their dog were all forced to defend themselves from Lux’s anger in the bedroom, while he repeatedly charged at the door whenever they made an attempt to escape. After a long blockade, they called the police while the furious Lux hissed angrily in the background.

The police telephone transcript is really quite wonderful: “He’s charging at us,” Mr. Palmer told the emergency operator. “We’re trapped in the bedroom. He won’t let  us out of the door… he’s trying to attack us. He’s very, very, very angry.” The operator told him to keep the door shut and wait for the police. “Tell them to be careful… the police,” said Mr. Palmer. Police arrived and were able to capture Lux after he attempted to jump on top of the fridge to escape custody…

So, where is this fluffy criminal now? Reached via Facebook, Palmer says his best guess is that Lux has been, shall we say, dealt with. Shortly after appearing on TV, Lux was rehomed into the care of an elderly couple and ended up putting one of his new owners in the hospital. I believe that was the end of the line for poor Lux. As for Palmer and his family, they now live in Seattle with a dog and a much more affectionate cat. American cats, eh? Can’t live with them, can’t bury them…